Scar Tissue
by SmoothKaz
Summary: In every timeline, there was one person who Homura could trust. The only one who understood. KyouHomu.
1. Prologue

'How many times have you seen me die?'

Homura turned her head. Kyouko was looking at her, trying and failing to keep a neutral expression. Homura smiled, a small and sad smile. 'Why do you want to know?'

Kyouko swallowed. 'Have I...do I ever make it?'

Homura didn't answer, mearly looked away. She heard Kyouko suck in her breath, then exhale.

She turned back. 'Kyouko.' The redhead raised her head. Homura's face was hard and determined. 'This time will be different.'

Kyouko looked at her for a beat, then closed her eyes and grinned. 'Of course it will!' She reached out and slapped Homura on the back, hard. 'There's nothin' the two of us can't take on!'

* * *

The conversation played back in her mind over and over as she stared down at Kyouko's corpse. 'I'm so sorry.' she whispered, as she extended her hand to close her friend's eyes, frozen open in shock and pain. 'I'm so sorry.'

And for the first time in more loops than she could remember, Homura sobbed.


	2. Mutual Benefit

Scar Tissue

Chapter 1

After so many loops, the timelines started to blur together for Homura. The earliest ones stood out, as did the particularly anomalous ones, but for the most part, there was little distinction in Homura's mind. Just a continuous, blurry flow of repeated failures.

She couldn't recall just how many loops she had experienced before she approached Kyouko. But though she would repeat the process many times, she still remembered the first like it was yesterday.

Kazamino's arcade was not nearly as large and modern as Mitakihara's, but Sakura still spent much of her time there. It lacked her favorite Dog Drug Reinforcement machine, but she was quite proficient at fighting games, which was where Homura found her.

Without turning around or missing a single hit in her game, she spoke. "If you're thinkin' about attackin' me while my back is turned, lemme just warn ya now, it ain't gonna end well for you."

"That...wasn't my intention." Homura cursed silently to herself. She had rehearsed everything in her head, several times over, and still she was stuttering. Even after everything, Sakura still made her nervous. "I'm here to ask for your assistance."

"Hah? You are a newbie, then. I thought so. Here's a little advice - magical girls stay out of each other's way, and we don't do favors."

Homura swallowed the lump in her throat. "Walpurgisnacht is coming to Mitakihara."

Sakura said nothing, showing no sign of acknowledgement. Finally, she spoke; "How do you know that?"

"That doesn't matter."

The game machine sounded out the triumphant tune of a K.O. and Sakura finally turned to face her visitor. Homura stood steady; visibly stiffening, breaking eye contact, anything that could be seen as weakness had to be avoided. She had to present herself as an equal.

The redhead looked over her "opponent", sizing her up. She was slight in build, very unassuming overall. Most people wouldn't see anything threatening in her appearence. She grimaced. "So...what part of 'we don't do favors' went over your pretty little head, huh? I don' see how it's any business of mine." She took a step forward, quickly closing the gap between them.

Homura swallowed again, praying it to be imperceptible. "It's not a favor. It would be in out mutual interest."

"Oh?" Sakura was now staring directly into her eyes, only inches away - teeth bared like a predator staring down its prey. "An' what would that be?'

Homura tried her damnedest not to blink. "Mitakihara is bordered by the outskirts of Kazamino - they would be caught in the destruction as well."

Sakura's eyebrow twitched. Ahh, there it is.

"...and?" Her demeanor had changed. She was no longer collected, no longer in charge of the sitation. She was anxious, and hiding it badly. "It's only the outskirts. I could care less."

Homura almost smiled at the ironic slip of the tongue. "If we win, I'll hand over my teritory in Mitakihara to you."

Sakura had stepped back by then, and her mouth dropped open. "Wha-? You're joking! No magical girl would just give up their teritory like that! What are you playing at!?"

"My only interest is defeating Walpurgisnacht. You have nothing to lose."

Kyouko shook her head. This girl was literally insane. Either that or it was a trap. That would make the most sense. But...

She grabbed the brown paper bag she had set by her feet and began walking toward the exit. She could feel the girl's eyes, drilling holes into her back. She stopped, and titled her head back. "Oi! What's your name?!"

There was silence, but only briefly, soon broken by the reply. "My name is Akemi Homura."

Kyouko smirked. "Huh. Kinda unfitting for such a cold girl."

A red apple soared through the air. Homura just managed to catch it, and when she looked back up, Sakura was gone. She stared at the empty space where the girl had been standing. She wasn't sure what to think. Had she failed or succeeded? _Somehow...it doesn't feel like I failed..._

No matter how many times she would repeat the exchange, she would never forget that queer feeling from the first. She would relive it every time

Kyouko leaned back against the chimney stack, taking a large bite out of her taiyaki. _Akemi Homura, huh?_ Her finger traced the soul gem on her chest. It was both a familiar and foreign name at the same time - just like the girl it belonged to. _She's a newbie for sure, only..._

She was suddenly aware of a second presence and she gave a start, gripping her spear tightly, then collapsing back with a loud exhale. "Jesus, Kyubey, don't do that."

'Are you going to except Akemi Homura's offer?'

"Huh? You were watchin'?" Kyouko shut her eyes. "No, of course you would know...I dunno yet. What's her deal, anyway?"

Kyubey cocked his head. 'She's an anomaly.'

"Wha? Anomaly? Th' Hell's that mean?"

'I'm not sure myself. She's definitely a magical girl, but she never made a contract with me.'

"Hah? How's that even possible?"

'That's what I would like to know myself.'

Kyouko turned her head to the starry night sky. "Anomaly, huh..." The term was a fitting one. She couldn't have been a magical girl long, but there was something about her...like she had experienced more than Kyouko could imagine.

She stood up and stretched. Kyubey leaped onto the chimney top, now eye-level. 'Have you made your decision?'

"Yeah." Kyouko grinned. "I have."


	3. Layers

Homura opened her eyes.

Her vision was blurred, and it took her a few moments to recognize where she was. This was a familiar event for her though. She closed her eyes, allowing the memories of her previous loop to flood back to her as she re-adjusted to her weak body. She had become accustomed to pushing away her feelings when this happened. She couldn't allow herself to grieve yet. She needed to remain impassive as she recalled what had transpired. What had gone wrong this time.

Her eyes shot open suddenly and flooded with tears.

Within seconds, several nurses and a doctor surrounded her. Her heart monitor droned on loudly, the green pattern dancing erratically. The doctor restrained her, doing his best to keep the thrashing body still so the nurses could sedate her. Everyone winced as she was injected, wishing they could cover their ears to block out the girl's screams and sobs.

Homura's vision faded in and out; the room seemed to spin. As she lost consciousness, a name came to her lips.

"Kyouko..."

The world again became black.

* * *

Scar Tissue

Chapter 2

* * *

Homura collapsed to her knees as the world around her shimmered and morphed, slowly fading back into reality. Her clothes were scuffed and dirtied, and clung to her skin with sweat, as did her hair.

Kyouko leaned on her spear, spat on the ground, and exhaled deeply. "Well...", she turned to her companion, "That was fun, ehh? I'm glad we had this little date." Her outfit was torn, even dirtier than Homura's; a thin trail of crimson flowed from her scalp

Homura chuckled, though most wouldn't recognize it as such - it was simply a quick, sharp exhalation. She shook her head. "Now's not the time. We need to get that cleaned."

"What, this?" Kyouko pointed toward her forehead. "This is nothin'. A little scatch. I've had worse."

"Not that..." Homura was on her feet now. Wordlessly, she brought her hand to Kyouko's chest, pressing a Grief Seed against her Soul Gem. Kyouko watched as the taint she didn't know was there drained away.

She looked up. Violet eyes met her flammeous ones, only inches away, seeming to bore directly into them. Her cheeks quickly heated up to match. "Uh...th-thanks."

Homura nodded, her face seemingly as impassive as ever. "It's no problem." She turned to leave, her outfit reverting back into her school uniform as she walked. "Come on. We need to be rested for tomorrow."

Oh! Uh, y-yeah...coming!" Kyouko snapped out of her daze and followed her, de-transforming as well. "Let's go home."

* * *

It had been two weeks since Kyouko accepted Homura's offer, and the date of Walpurgisnacht drew ever closer.

A few days had passed before that, and Homura had begun to wonder if her plan had backfired. Having Kyouko out of the picture entirely would likely have prolonged Miki Sayaka's fall into despair, but her help with Walpurgisnacht would have been more valuable.

Kyouko did show up though, bearing her trademark peace offering of Pocky, and for the first time in too long, Homura felt a sense of accomplishment.

In the transient life of a magical girl, where mere months established you as a veteran, two weeks was enough to solidify both amity and animosity. And the latter was much more calmly. In the rare event that magical girls did join forces, it was a temporary event that be benefited both parties equally, which didn't prevent one or both from attempting to sabotage each other.

As they walked home in silence, Kyouko found herself recalling the strange vibe her companion has given off when they first met, and continued to give off. It was the aura of a veteran for sure, but there was something akin to déjà vu that she found herself feeling quite often.

She had realized a little while before that it was also a feeling of trust.

Kyouko had absolutely no reason to trust Homura. She knew nothing of her past, which Homura remained extremely tight-lipped about. There was no way of knowing if she would keep her promise about giving up her territory. It could all be part of some kind of some kind of plan where Kyouko ended up losing everything.

But for some reason, she couldn't believe any of it. If there was anything that living on the streets and being a magical girl had in common, it was the ever-present sense of malice from both people and things. Something was always out to harm you. In both situations, you had to be attuned to the vibes of others. The pimps and thugs on the street; the beat cops looking for an easy arrest; the few magical girls she has come into contact with; there were always signs, little things that gave away their true intentions. A twitch of the eye, a minor slip of the tongue, a slight of hand. For all her brashness and seeming carelessness, Kyouko was quite skilled at figuring people out.

Homura gave away absolutely nothing. This wasn't necessarily a sign that she could be trusted. On the contrary, Kyouko felt she should be concerned that she couldn't figure her out at all. For the life of her, she had no idea why she wasn't.

As they approached Homura's apartment, Kyouko went over the question in her mind again. It was a question she had asked herself repeatedly over the past weeks. She knew that sometimes you just had to trust your instincts – there were times that logic couldn't get you out of a fix. But she couldn't help herself. It was as if the answer to all her questions were right there at the tip of her tongue.

Homura silently unlocked the door. Kyouko stared at her back. _Why?_ The memory of their earlier proximity flooded her mind. _No, no, no_. She shook her head. _Focus, Kyouko_. Homura turned back to look at her, her head cocked to the side? "Kyouko?"

"Ah, it's nothin', nothin'. Don't worry 'bout it, eh heh heh heh." She scratched the back of her head awkwardly.

Homura just nodded and entered the apartment. Kyouko followed, sighing. She watched as Homura flipped the light on. _Maybe…it's her vulnerability?_

Kyouko silently wondered if the terrors would happen again tonight.

* * *

Homura was a tactician before she was a fighter. If you asked her, she'd say that planning and knowing how to fight was more important for a warrior than fighting itself.

Part of teaming with Kyouko was preparation. Simply rushing in together, weapons swinging, would do no good. The spearmaiden had to know what she was facing, and have a plan.

Homura's planning extended beyond Walpurgisnacht itself. Her preparations were for the weeks leading up – maintaining a certain quota of grief seeds, killing as many witches as possible, and training; pushing herself to her limits, both physically and magically, and surpassing them.

Kyouko had been expected to join her in every aspect of preparation. The rigorous training was more up her alley, but even she hadn't expected just levels of intensity Homura took it to. She could scarcely believe that her lithe form could withstand the pressure she put on it.

In turn, Homura had been surprised by how quickly Kyouko took to the tactics. Her view of the redhead as the type who thought solely with her fists had been shattered quickly.

It wasn't long before Kyouko found herself waking up on Homura's floor. Their planning had extended long into the night, and often they both fell asleep before either knew it. It wasn't much longer before there was an unspoken agreement between them that the apartment had become a shared one. Homura was fully aware that Kyouko had no permanent place of her own, and anywhere she stayed was likely unstable and gained through less-than-upstanding means. She had kept it to herself – it wasn't an important issue.

It was one of the first nights that Kyouko had spent there that she was awoken by an unfamiliar sound. Somewhere between a choke and a sob, a quick but powerful sound, that pumped out in an ugly rhythm. Whatever it was, it wasn't pleasant.

"Homura…" Kyouko was up quickly, her eyes darting for any signs of danger. Homura was no where to be seen, but the sound continues, increasing in volume and frequency, and quickly joined by a loud thrashing.

Before she knew what she was doing, Kyouko was on her feet, running towards the direction of the noise. She found the source in Homura's bedroom, from Homura herself.

In the back of her mind, Kyouko has assumed there was an intruder, or a struggle. Homura was alone, and any struggle was only with herself.

Her entire body convulsed and jerked as if she were possessed. Her legs kicked at her blankets, her fists gripped the futon until the knuckles were white, her head jerked back and forth. Sweat, tears and saliva poured out, blending into a sickly sheen.

"Homura?! Homura!" Kyouko rushed over and grabbed her by the shoulders. Struck by her flailing arms, she grabbed the girl's hands to hold them down. "Homura! Wake up! Listen to me!" No changes. Homura continued to kick and make those horrible noises, noises which made Kyouko sick to her stomach _Shit! If she didn't stop soon, she's gonna hyperventilate!_

Kyouko screamed at her, shook her shoulders, slapped her. Homura's thrashing just grew worse, and her choked noises started to become cries, terrible half-screams that filled Kyouko with cold dread. Not knowing what else she could do, she grabbed her from behind, the other girl's convulsions having become so strong as to turn her completely around.

"Please stop please stop please stop" Kyouko droned on in a hoarse whisper, squeezing Homura's arms against her side, doing her best to hold her seizing form as still as possible. Eyes squeezed shut and teeth clenched painfully, she found herself actually praying. "God dammit, Homura!"

And then, it was over. She didn't even realize at first, but Homura was now limp in her arms. She quickly panicked, fearing the worst, before hearing the girl's quiet breathing. She let a massive breath she didn't know she was holding. "Oh, thank God."

There was silence once more, except for the breathing of two girls. One heavy with adrenaline and shock, the other eerily calm for what the breather had just gone through. As her heartbeat slowly returned to normal, Kyouko stared into the darkness.

_What the Hell just happened? _

That had been the first night.

* * *

A/N: In the increasingly unlikely chance that anyone who was reading this hasn't given up on it, I would like to sincerely apologize for how long it took to get this out, especially considering that it isn't that long. I have no excuses. I can only hope you enjoy it.

The last part took me the longest to write, and I'm still not that happy with it, but there's some good stuff in here.

I've got a couple other fic ideas in my head, that I may start on while doing this one. I have only a very rough idea of where this will go, so if I start on other ones, updates will be as inspiration strikes. But I've got somewhat of a concept for how this will end, so I promise I won't abandon it, and I will try and update MUCH more frequently than this.

Thanks so much for reading, and feel free to leave any comments you'd like!

~Kaz


	4. Communication Barriers

Author's Note: You may have noticed I reuploaded this chapter. I was dissatisfied with the way I ended it before and so I rewrote the last part. I hope you find it to your liking. If this is your first time reading, don't worry about it.

* * *

The therapist's words went in one ear and out the other, leaving just enough of an imprint on Homura's brain for her to give the appropriate stock replies.

_I shouldn't be here._

The incident had shaken her entire staff. Akemi-san was the docile, silent little girl who never caused any trouble. She had finally reached the top of the wait list and undergone her surgery. She was scheduled for release in a matter of days. Her sudden episode seemed to make no sense.

_This is a waste of my time. _

Her doctor had proposed that the cause was simple - it was simply a case of all of her anxiety from the past years being released, triggered by the massive change her life was about to undergo. It was an explanation she readily accepted. It was hardly a lie, technically.

_I need to get out. I need to prepare. Madoka needs me. Kyou-_

Her breath caught and she bit down on her tongue, hard, managing not to grimace as the all-too-familiar metallic taste spread across her tongue.

_No. Not this time._

"Akemi-san?" The doctor was looking at her concernedly. She swallowed the blood. "Yes?"

"Are you sure you're alright now? You're looking...tense." His eyes darted toward the armrest of her chair. Following his glance, she only then realized that she had the ends of them in a death grip, her nails almost digging into the plastic.

She grit her teeth and cursed silently. _Kyouko..._

* * *

Scar Tissue  
Chapter 3

* * *

Kyouko had said nothing about that first night. She had managed to slip away before Homura awoke, being as careful as possible not to rouse her, gently maneuvering the slumbering girl out of her arms and back into her futon.

Kyouko herself did not find sleep that night. She lay awake, staring into the darkness of the ceiling, playing back the scene in her mind over and over again. If it was a nightmare, it was unlike any she had seen or experienced before. She certainly wasn't unfamiliar with panic attacks, having suffered several of her own following her father's madness. But never with such intensity, and always when she was awake.

_Well, as far as I know..._ she thought to herself with a grimace. _Does she even know she has them? Hell, has she even had one before this? Would she have woken up if I hadn't...?_

She ignored the implications of her thought. The next day, Homura showed no signs she was aware anything had happened.

* * *

"I'm sorry... I'm s-so-so-sorry..."

Kyouko grit her teeth and squeezed the sobbing girl tighter. That first attack had been nearly a week ago. This was the fourth by her count, and the second in a row of its kind. She almost felt like she preferred the thrashing and choking, though she instantly felt guilty at the thought.

But the quiet attacks, as she had found herself calling them, were so much more...naked. She felt like she was being exposed to Homura's soul, and she hated it.

"Ma... ka... sorry..."

Everyone had their demons; Kyouko knew this better than most. And she knew better than most that there were demons you didn't want other people to see. You couldn't let them see inside you.

As Homura squeezed fistfuls of Kyouko's shirt, whimpering into her wet shoulder, she was a wide-open window for Kyouko to see her demons in all their infernal majesty.

She swallowed her discomfort and rubbed small circles on Homura's back. She could never stop the attacks, but even during the quiet ones, she couldn't bring herself to abandon Homura to ride them out herself. She ignored her reservations, knowing that for whatever reason, her presence brought comfort to the smaller girl.

That was something Kyouko had never noticed before. Homura was indeed smaller than her, if only by a few centimeters. She realized that she never noticed because usually Homura's mere presence had such strength that it made her seem taller than she actually was.

_She's always so intimidating. She's gotta constant barrier . . . well, I guess I'm in no position to talk, but like this... it's like she's a completely different person... _

Homura sniffled, her grip loosening somewhat. She was finally calming down. Kyouko didn't know why holding her helped, but she wasn't about to question it.

It was frightening, honestly. To see such a pillar of strength collapse like that. It was a surreal experience, and more than once she found herself waking the next morning questioning whether the night's events had really occurred.

_God, she's skinny... _While Homura's breathing slowly fell into a soft and steady rhythm, Kyouko was once again reminded that height was not their only difference in size. Homura was disturbingly thin. From looking at her, it was clear she was very slender. Holding her in her arms, the ugly truth became apparent. She was not a healthy weight. Her waist was too small, her arms too thin. Kyouko could feel the bumps of her ribs through her shirt.

_Come to think of it, I've never actually seen her eat… does she have one of those eating disorders or somethin'… I know I've been pretty hungry before, but I don't think it was ever this bad… where does she get all her energy?_

Homura stirred and moaned. Kyouko held her breath until she was sure her companion was still asleep, and expelled it in relief. She gazed down at her sleeping face._ She looks so different… like a scared child… there's none of the coldness from when she's awake… _

Kyouko closed her eyes and sighed. After everything, Homura was still a closed book to her. She wished she could understand her better… a feeling she didn't think she would ever have again.

_I told myself I wouldn't trust anyone but myself anymore… I guess I didn't count on somethin' like this… trusting someone without bein' able to help it… _

Without even realizing it, she smiles. Her eyes traced the soft outline of her face . Her small nose, her feathery eyelids. Her pale pink lips. She swallowed.

_She's... really beautiful..._

Homura's lips seemed to fill her vision, drawing closer to her. Or was she being pulled in towards them? It didn't matter. She could feel her soft, sweet breath tickling her face. The proximity of her lips was tangible. Less than a centimeter separated them from her own.

"Madoka..."

She froze. Pulled back slowly. Homura remained asleep, but now, a tear trailed down her cheek.

_Madoka. That's... the pink-haired girl, right?... Sayaka's friend... what does she have to do with all this? _

It was only then she realized what she had been so close to doing. _God, I'm sick. _

Once again, sleep evaded Kyouko's grasp.

* * *

"You aren't paying attention."

Kyouko was snapped back to reality by Homura's sharp voice - again. She turned with some trepidation to face Homura's glare.

"No, no, I'm payin' attention. Walpurgis, tactics and all that, I gotcha." She grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of her head, praying her face wasn't too red. Homura's glare remained fixed.

Kyouko sighed. "Sorry, sorry...I've, uh, got somethin' on my mind today. My bad." Homura's gaze seemed to soften somewhat, but it was fleeting and subtle.

"We don't have any time for distractions. You should know that."

"Yeah, yeah, I do know that. You remind me every damn day." She reclined against Homura's couch, hands behind her neck. "Ya know, people don't learn well without any breaks."

"...you don't seem to understand the importance of this." Homura's fist were clenched. "There are only two full weeks before Walpurgisnacht arrives. If we aren't prepared this time..." she trailed off.

"This time?" Kyouko sat up. "Whaddaya mean, 'this time?'"

"...there won't be any 'next time' if we don't beat it this time." Homura got to her feet, looking down at her fiery companion. "We can't afford to waste a single second."

"...why is this so important to you anyway?" It was something Kyouko had wanted to ask for a long time. Homura's obsession was anything but normal. "You're willin' to give up your territory an' everything. For what? What do you get?"

Homura's frown deepened, which Kyouko hadn't thought possible. "That isn't important."

Not that again.

"Not that again!" Kyouko stood up, face to face with the opposing magical girl. "Every magical girl has their own way of doing things, and their own reasons, but you... you're too different! You don't make any sense!"

"Drop it."

"...no." Kyouko stood up. Something inside her head told her she _should _drop it, before she said something she would regret. She didn't have a good feeling, and her impulsiveness and stubbornness would not do her any favors in this situation. "No, I won't drop it. I was doing just fine before you came begging me for help. I didn't need to drop everything and come over here! The_ least_ you could do is tell me _something_!"

Homura's head was down, her eyes hidden beneath her hair. "...just drop it. It doesn't concern you."

Kyouko grit her teeth, holding back the rage she wanted to let out. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, but it concerns precious little _Madoka_, who isn't even a magical girl?"

Everything froze. Whatever Kyouko would have said next caught in her throat. Homura's head snapped up to stare at her, her eyes wide as saucers, her mouth a tight line of shock, anger, and fear.

_Shit._

"...ahh. Ahh, hey, Homura, uh... I... I didn't mean..."

"... what makes you think she has anything do with this?" she seemed to spit the words, slowly and cooly, even for her.

Kyouko didn't think it was possible for the room to get colder.

She swallowed. "Uh... I mean, well.."

Homura stared her down unblinkingly, drawing nearer. "What do you know about her?"

She steadied herself. "Homura, listen..." Even as she said the words, she could feel herself doing a pretty terrible job of doing just that. She was right. Madoka _was_ involved.

"I told you..." she did her best to appear confident and strong on the outside – the opposite of how she felt inside. "You owe me. I'm helping yer ass with this thing, it isn't fair that I don't know a damn thing!" _Shit! That was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it?_

Anger was slowly overtaking all other emotions as the dominant expression on Homura's face. "Owe you?" She took a step forward, Kyouko took one back, mentally berating herself for doing so.

"You have no idea what's really going on...none at all... you have no clue what I'm doing for you...what she..." Her eyes were hidden once again, her voice wavering. Kyouko felt her resolve do the same.

"Homura...? What's going on..."

Suddenly, Homura's fist had Kyouko's shirt in a tight grip, and the redhead was pulled in close. She could feel Homura's breath again. A whirlwind of thoughts and images passed through her head; she willed them away and growled, "The Hell are you doing?!"

"You'd be just like everyone else. It's the same thing, again and again and again." Homura bit down on the inside of her cheek. "This is a mistake. You weren't supposed to ask..."

Kyouko shoved her away, breaking free from her grasp. "Fer Chrissake, you're being insane!" She straightened her shirt, sighing. Looking back, she saw Homura standing there, staring right through her. Her expression was familiar again, but not comforting. It was the cold, impenetrable poker face Kyouko had first met.

Kyouko rubbed her eye with her palm. "Homura, look, just forget it..."

"That's right."

She paused. _What?_

"This was a mistake. Go back to Kazamino, Sakura-san. I can handle Walpurgisnacht myself."

_Wait, what!?_

"Hold on, what are you..." she stepped forward. "You can't be-

"Just leave." The raven-haired girl turned her back. "You aren't losing anything."

"Wait wait wait. Hold on a second..." she grabbed Homura's shoulder, and her hand was violently slapped away. Homura turned, her eyes sharp and cold.

"Leave. Now, Sakura-san."

Kyouko just stared, disbelieving. "You're serious..."

Homura said nothing.

"...fine." She turned and marched away. "Fine!" She snatched her green jacket off of the couch. She threw open the door, not caring as it slammed into the wall.

"Kyouko."

She was already out of the door when the words reached her ears. The girl's footsteps drew closer and stopped at the doorway. Kyouko closed her eyes, waiting for Homura's next words.

"Don't come back."

The door slammed.

Kyouko sat there for what could have been seconds, could have been hours, she couldn't tell. Time had stopped working, and so had her brain. She didn't know what to do.

By the time she found a relatively clean and dry alleyway corner to spend the night, she still had no idea.

* * *

Author's Notes:

This works a lot better for what I have planned next. I did my best to keep them in character, so if anyone seems OOC, it should come together better and make sense soon enough. Hopefully you like the new version as well.

If the next chapter isn't up within at least three days, I owe you one twice this long. I'm going to try and spend as many waking hours as I can writing until it's done. Having no job is equally a blessing and curse.

Thank you very much for reading! Feel free to leave any comments if you feel like it.


	5. Faith

_"What's wrong, Kyouko?"_

_A large, calloused finger wiped a tear from the twelve-year-old girl's eye. She wished she could pull away from her father's comforting touch – she didn't deserve it. He shouldn't be touching her. But she craved his kind touch, and prayed for his understanding._

_"Kyouko…you know you can talk to me about anything, right?" He sat down beside her, gingerly stroking her hair. "I'll do my best to help in any way I can."_

_She opened her mouth, but said nothing. Even if she wanted to, she doubted she could force out the words she kept hidden inside. She closed her mouth again._

_Her father sighed but didn't push. "Okay sweetie. I'll check on you in a little bit. Maybe you'll feel better about talking then. But Kyouko… just remember one thing. No matter what, God is always with you. And he understands."_

_Kyouko bit her lip. That was exactly the last thing she needed to hear._

* * *

Scar Tissue

Chapter 4

* * *

It hadn't been long since she first started sleeping at Homura's. Compared to how long she had spent on her own before that, it was no time at all. She had drifted from place to place, more often than not spending her nights without shelter.

_'Not much different from right now.'_ she thought with a grimace.

A gust of wind blew over, sending a painful chill through her skin. She curled into herself tighter. _'Was this really how I lived? Christ, a few days under a roof and you completely forget what it was like on the outside... and I coulda sworn I was used to this...'_

She chuckled weakly. There was no one to hear her, but she needed to keep her mind off the events of the day. It had taken a few hours before it had really hit her, and when it did, it came crashing upon her all at once. Homura's face and words repeated endlessly in her head like a nonsensical slideshow.

She was a whirlwind of emotions. Anger, confusion, regret, all of them mixing together as one. For the first time in over a year, she could not jump into action to solve her problem. She could only sit there, warm herself, and try to make sense of her jumbled thoughts the best she could.

* * *

_It was not out of embarrassment that Kyouko kept her withdrawal from school a secret. It was no secret the church had fallen on hard times, and she knew it. Many of her schoolmates had attended the church with their families. The key word, of course, being 'had'._

_Kyouko had proposed getting a part time job to help with the bills, but both parents had forbidden it. She had hardly turned thirteen; the most helpful thing she could do was continue her education, help take care of Momo, and help around the church the same way she had always been._

_"We'll make it, just as we always have. God will provide."_

_Their adamancy didn't last long. Church attendance continued to drop further and further with each week. The school had no tuition fee, but nether did they have a free lunch program, or spare paper and pencils._

_"They rely on donations just as much as we do." her father sighed. "Faith-based public schools are struggling. It wouldn't be right to demand they accommodate us over everyone else."_

_And so the difficult decision was made. Kyouko was sure the teacher would let everyone know, but she had yet to be questioned about it or hear any comments from her classmates._

_So she said nothing. And as her final day drew to a close, she felt numb._

_'Maybe it hasn't set in yet.' She sighed inwardly, watching a flock of birds fly by in the distance._

_"Um…excuse me, Sakura-san?"_

_Kyouko recognized the smooth, gentle voice immediately, but restrained herself from turning around too quickly. "Oh, Saitou-san. What is it?"_

_A soft tinge of pink stained her pale, unblemished cheeks. "Um, I was just wondering if you were feeling okay. You've seemed a little… off, today." She squirmed slightly in the most endearing way._

_'Ahh, she noticed?' "Oh, I'm, I'm fine, don't worry about me!" Laughing a little too loudly, she scratched her head. "Just got a lot on my mind I guess."_

_Her seat neighbor gently brushed a soft strand of hair behind her ear. "Are you sure? I mean, if there's something troubling you, you can tell me. We're friends!" She placed her hand on Kyouko's arm._

_"I… look, I'm fine, okay!" she snapped. "Just forget it!" She pulled away from the other girl's touch, face burning, and returned her gaze to the window._

_Saitou recoiled, and a few heads turned toward the source of the outburst. Kyouko could feel their eyes on her. She could feel Saitou's chocolate eyes, wide with shock, maybe holding back tears. She bit her lip._

_"I… forgive me, Sakura-san. I didn't mean to pry. I'll, uh… see you on Sunday." She bowed, and Kyouko could feel her sadness in the air, hovering over her like a cloud. "Have a good day."_

_'Great job, Kyouko.' She listed to Saitou's soft footsteps grow quieter, as her fang dug into her lip harder, drawing blood. 'You screwed it up. Idiot.'_

* * *

She walked along the empty sidewalk, hands stuffed into the pockets of her jacket. Her Soul Gem was clutched in her fist, still radiating a gentle heat. She wasn't looking for anything, or heading in any particular direction. She was just wandering aimlessly, her thoughts no less jumbled than before. The night was unnaturally cold, and staying still wasn't going to help any longer.

Her brain felt like it was going to burst, clouded with a multitude of memories and feelings. Homura's words continued to assault her mind, her face so clear in her head it was as if she could reach out and feel her. Everything else was vague and translucent, fading in and out, but Homura was as sharp and vivid as reality, along with the guilt and regret in her heart. It felt like a dumbbell was sitting in her chest.

'_I never wanted to feel like this again.' _She frowned, anger starting to build inside of her. _'I was over it! I was fine!'_ She stopped and slammed her fist into the brick wall beside her, letting out a loud growl through her clenched teeth. _'It's HER fault!'_ She instantly regretted it. Pain shot through her hand, accompanied by a storm of memories: Homura, their faces inches from each other, clearing the taint from her gem. Homura's sleeping face. Homura, thrashing and crying in her bed.

Hissing, she slowly brought her hand up to eye level to examine it. _'I always do this, don't I?' _She blinked away tears._ 'Try and ignore my guilt by getting' pissed off. _

Her hand was starting to swell – she hadn't held back at all. _'An' look where it's gotten me.' _She pulled out her Gem,readying it to heal herself, and her eyes grew wide. The black taint had nearly doubled since she last checked it.

'_Shit! It's only been a few hours…'_ She returned it to its ring form. _'This isn't good…'_

* * *

_She flipped through the pages of the pew Bible, re-reading the passages she had memorized long ago. She couldn't say exactly how many passages she knew. The holy book had been the source of all her bedtime stories, and she had been given a new verse to memorize nearly every day. After Momo had been born, she took on the role of reading to her the same bedtime stories and teaching her the same psalms and scripture passages._

_She thumbed through Leviticus and exhaled loudly. Another Sunday morning had come and gone with no one outside the Sakura family in attendance. It was frightening that she was almost used to it, and she could see it finally starting to take its toll on her father._

_The service passed without event, but the atmosphere had been distinctly melancholy. She doubted her father even realized that most of recent his sermons had dwelled on the negative. Mankind's sinfulness and lack of faith were frequent topics._

_She stopped herself from biting her lip. Guilt wracked her to the core, something that had also worsened in the past few months. Sympathizing with nonbelievers was the absolute worst possible thing she could be doing._

_Her head started to hurt. She gave up on skimming through Romans and closed the book, returning it to its place in the back of the pew. She needed to lie down for a while before dinner._

_Ascending the stairs, she passed the large portrait of Christ on the wall, a favorite of her father's. It was painted in such a way that, to her at least, the eyes always seemed to be looking at you, no matter what angle you saw it from. Momo hadn't seen what she meant, but Kyouko was convinced._

_She could feel the eyes follow her all the way to her room, drilling into her back. By the time she collapsed down on her bed, the weight in her chest felt like it had doubled._

_She twisted and turned, trying to forcibly will away the ache in her heart. She prayed. She tried to distract herself with other thoughts. No matter what she tried, the weight remained, constantly reminding her of and reinforcing her guilt._

_'This is all my fault.'_

* * *

Over an hour had passed since Kyouko began her search. She across rooftops, ducked through alleyways, keeping all her senses alert for any trace of magic.

Finally, she found the entrance to a ward. Her celebration didn't last long – she could sense another magical girl signature already inside. One she had grown very familiar with.

"Homura…" she grimaced. She wasn't sure what to do. She was sure she wasn't going to find another witch; she had already searched most of the town. But fighting Homura…

She stood there, monitoring Homura and the witch's signatures as they fought. She had to make up her mind soon. Even if she could bring herself to fight, she wasn't sure if she could win in her current state. She had never fought Homura one on one, but the full extent of the other girl's skills remained a mystery to her. She knew that Homura generally outclassed her when fighting witches, but…

She blinked. Something was wrong. Homura's signature was flickering, almost like a candle.

"What's goin' on… she's not…losing, is she?"Kyouko could sense the witch was of average strength as best – she and Homura had taken down much more powerful ones with relative ease.

Another flicker, and another – faster, with more intensity. Kyouko felt her heart beat faster. "She IS losing. What the Hell…" The witch's signature was growing stronger just as Homura's grew weaker. "She's getting her ass kicked…dammit!"

Throwing caution to the wind, she gripped her spear tightly and dived headfirst through the barrier.

* * *

_Kyubey had approached her at the darkest time in her life and she had been convinced he was an angel._

_Her wish was not only divine intervention to save her family and church, it was a chance for personal redemption. She had accepted her task with joy and gusto._

_For the first time in years, her heart had not weighed down with guilt and fear. For the first time in years, her father's smile and laughter had been full and genuine. For the first time in years, she had not gone to bed unsatisfied._

_Kyubey had given her and her family everything. She was sure that whatever he asked in return, she would gladly give without question._

_"The Devil is very beautiful, Kyouko. He will offer you what you most desire. He will claim to want to help you. Satan approaches those who are weak and vulnerable. You must never forget this. Always keep the light of The Lord inside you."_

_Not until she was sobbing into the shoulder of her little sister's corpse did she remember her father's warning, echoing endlessly._

* * *

When Kyouko arrived, Homura was on her knees, supporting herself with one hand, a large pistol held limply in the other.

"Homura!"

The weakened girl turned her head in confusion, blinking. Kyouko skid to a stop in front of her, assuming a fighting position. The witch was a particularly ugly one – a writhing mass of black smoke and tentacles, seeming to fill her entire vision, creating a disorienting effect that made the whole space seem to sway.

"Kyouko…what are you...?" Homura tried to stumble to her feet.

"Shut up!" Kyouko tightened her hold on her spear and leaped forward. "Just leave it to me!"

Skillfully dodging the stabbing limbs, she swung her spear, the blade extending and slashing through several of the tentacles, slicing diagonally down the witch's front side. It let out a hideous shriek that pierced her eardrums, and swirled and morphed violently. Kyouko narrowly avoided a new tentacle that shot out of the mass and nearly clipped her ear off.

The witch seemed to split apart as Kyouko landed, and for a moment she thought she had already won. She frowned as she realized it was not dying. On the contrary, it had split into two even masses, numerous more tentacles growing and flailing. They struck out from every direction. Kyouko flipped and spun, avoiding them as best she could, but there was no end to them. A sudden hot sensation burst from her ankle, quickly turning to pain and sending her crashing onto the cold floor. She cried out as another grazed her shoulder, stabbing into the solid ground. The tentacles were like blades of solid darkness, and several more cut through her arms and sides. The wounds burned, and she screamed. She reached frantically for her spear, but it was gone, having flown out of her grasp when she fell. More of the tentacles penetrated the ground, forming a cage of blades around her.

'_So… this is how I go out…'_ The black blades were all she could see now, surrounding her completely, poised to stab again. '_I hope you'll be happy to see me down there, Dad.'_

They thrust forward, and she squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable pain which never came.

Instead, her eyes shot open as the witch let out a horrendous screech. She clapped her hands over her ears, unable to do anything but watch as the massive swarm of blackness, now only one, convulsed and rippled, before seeming to solidify. A few beats passed, and Kyouko slowly removed her hands from her head. The now-solid mass did nothing; then, it exploded, a fiery blast shattering it from within. Kyouko was hurled backwards. She managed grab her spear as she slid past it and tumbled to her feet, digging the spear into the ground to keep herself standing.

Where the witch had been was a huge smoldering smear, many flaming black chunks scattered around the area. Homura stood behind it, her chest heaving.

Kyouko sprinted toward her, maneuvering around the burning remnants of the witch. The space started to fade, dissolving just as Homura's legs gave out and she collapsed.

"HOMURA!"

* * *

Author's Notes:

Kyouko struggling with her faith is an important concept and I don't know why it isn't explored more often.

It's out! This chapter went through the most rewriting and editing of any before, but I'm still not completely satisfied with it. I feel like my writing couldn't execute my concept; I tried to do something different this time, but it may have been a failed experiment. If you feel it's noticeably weaker than the previous ones, please let me know.

Also, forgive my inability to write action scenes.

At one point, this and the next chapter were one and the same, so as a result I have about a fourth of Chapter 5 already done. Hopefully it should also be published relatively soon. I hope that makes up for this not being as long as I'd hoped.

Thank you as always for reading! Feel free to review if you'd like, all are appreciated.


	6. Divergence

Scar Tissue

Chapter 5

* * *

Kyouko's legs began moving before she even thought about it, propelling her towards the collapsed girl. She skid to a halt and quickly knelt by her side, gripping her shoulders and shaking her.

"Homura! Oi, Homura, wake up!" The dark-haired girl squirmed slightly, face scrunching as she groaned, but her eyes remained closed. Kyouko's eyes darted down to the Soul Gem on her hand, and gasped. It was almost completely consumed by darkness, only the slightest hint of violet peeking through at the top.

"Shit!" She looked around frantically. It was still night, and the ward had formed in an alleyway, hidden from the glow of the streetlights. It was only the headlights of a passing car reflecting briefly of its surface that allowed her to finally locate the fallen witch's Grief Seed, lying near a large garbage bin.

She snatched it up and rushed back to Homura. Holding up her wrist, she prepared to press the Seed against her Gem, but stopped suddenly. Hesitating, she took a look at her own Gem; it wasn't as severely tainted as Homura's, but was still growing dangerously dark.

She looked back and forth between them. If she cleaned her Gem first, the Seed would barely affect Homura's. Cleaning Homura's first would surely drain the Seed completely. She had to make a choice quickly.

Gritting her teeth, she pressed it firmly against the smooth surface of the Gem and watched the darkness drain away.

* * *

Homura felt like she was weightless. Rather, she didn't feel like a physical form at all. She had the vague sensation of floating while images and sounds whirled around her, bits and pieces of memories coming in and out of focus as they drifted past.

_She sat in seclusion in the back corner of the classroom, coughing quietly into a handkerchief. The teacher silently placed a paper on her desk as she walked past, her gaze remaining fixed forward. _

_She sat on her knees, hands clasped in prayer. The massive crucifix that seemed to take up the entirety of the wall loomed over her as the voice of the abbess droned on in the background. _

_A multitude of blurred faces swarmed over her vision. She had the vague sensation of movement as a man's tense voice called for a defibrillator, shortly before everything went white. _

_She felt numb as she looked over the list of medications, barely hearing the doctor's explanation of side effects and new routines. She started tuning him out when he mentioned life expectancy. _

_Madoka, glowing arrow drawn back, looked over her shoulder and smiled - "Keep this a secret from everyone as school, 'kay?" - and whatever fear that had so gripped her instantly melted away, replaced by awe. For the first time, Homura truly understood what her teachers meant when they spoke of angles._

_As she gazed at Madoka's face through eyes blurred with tears, her chest hurt worse than it ever had from her heart condition. _

_Kyouko, teeth bared in a confident, vicious grin, propelled herself forward like a streak of fire. Homura discovered that after all that she had seen, she could still be awed by another magical girl._

_She pressed a Grief Seed against the Gem on Kyouko's chest, and hoped silently that her cheeks weren't the same color as her friend's._

With each heartbeat it seemed, she was thrust into another memory, reliving it while still vaguely aware it was only a recollection.

_Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Kyouko's look of shock and disappointment as she was demanded to leave._

If she could have, Homura would have grit her teeth. '_Stop thinking about her. The plan failed __–__ she's just collateral now.' _Even before she finished thinking it, she felt wracked with guilt.

_If she's collateral, why were you so upset when she left?_ The voice came out of nowhere, as close as if spoken right in front of her, or from within her very head. There was nothing to be seen, but in her current state, physical senses hardly seemed to exist. Something in the back of her mind told her she was dreaming or hallucinating.

_'Maybe... I'm dying.' _To her mild surprise, it wasn't a terrifying thought. If anything, it brought some comfort with it.

_She's your friend. _The voice again. Homura wasn't sure if it was her own internal voice or a hallucinated entity.

"I don't need friends." Homura felt her emotions swirling. "Madoka... Madoka is my friend. My only friend. As long as she's safe, that's all I need. That's all that matters."

A pause.

'No one will believe me. They never did."

The voice had a strange lift to it; sad, almost pitying, but with a hopefulness to it. _Things are different this time. You said so._

"I thought it was different."

_It is different. This isn't your end, Homura._

* * *

Homura was suddenly aware of the sensation of her body. Her many memories, faded to an indistinct blur and buzz in the background, faded away completely. She opened her eyes.

Homura stared at a familiar ceiling – her own – blinking a few times to allow her eyes to adjust. She was laying one of the curved couches in her living room.

She sat up, propping herself with her hands, and looked around. Her head throbbed with the movement and she groaned at the sharp pain, bringing a hand up to feel a hard lump on the side of her head._ What happened? I was… looking for a Grief Seed… no, a witch…_

Her eyes grew wide and she quickly summoned her Soul Gem. It was clean and bright, shining violet from top to bottom. Homura sighed in relief, returning it to ring form. _But how…? I was fighting the witch…_ Her hand returned to the seat as she prepared to stand up and something soft brushed against it, in harmony with a low groan. She gave a sudden start and snapped her head down.

Kyouko lay curled awkwardly against the side of the small couch, looking uncomfortable and unusually still. Her face twisted as she squirmed.

"Kyouko?" Homura reached down to grip her shoulder. Kyouko's half-lidded eyes met hers. "Homu…ra… you're alright…" She gave a weak smirk. Her eyes were glossy and distant, her whole body limp and

"Kyouko? What's wrong?" Homura's eyes grew wide. "Show me your Soul Gem!" She grabbed the redhead's wrist and brought it up just as she summoned her Gem. At first glance it was entirely black; only the slightest hint of color peeked through.

Homura leapt up, almost bounding over to the opposite couch. Pushing against the outward-facing side, it opened up to become a drawer. Among the contents were several unused Grief Seeds. She snatched one up and darted back over to Kyouko, shoving the Seed against her Gem.

As more the darkness drained away, Homura felt the weight in her chest disappear along with it, replaced by relief. Kyouko showed immediate change; her eyes regained their usual clarity, and the lethargy that had overtaken her was gone. She looked around, blinking a few times, before turning to face Homura. "Uh... thanks for that." Homura nodded, but said nothing. Kyouko sat up, stretching awkwardly. Both girls remained silent for what seemed like several minutes, but in reality wasn't more than one.

Homura was the first to speak. "So… what happened?" Kyouko turned to her and grimaced. "I should be askin' you that. What was up with you an' that witch?"

Homura flinched slightly. She took a breath. "My Soul Gem grew tainted faster than I expected. I thought I could find a Grief Seed in time to-"

"Yeah, I get that." Kyouko interrupted a deep frown now on her face. "Lemme rephrase; why the Hell did you go out and look for a witch when you had a whole drawer full of 'em right here!" She slammed her hand on the seat, the slap echoing throughout the living room. Homura flinched again, but only grew defensive. "Those are for emergency situations. I-"

"Well, clearly it'd gotten pretty bad before you found the witch!" Kyouko stood up. "Do you always wait until the last minute to clean your gem?"

Homura's voice rose in response. "I told you, it progressed faster than I expected." It wasn't even a shout, but compared to her usual monotone, it was enough to startle Kyouko in temporary silence. Homura sat down, not wanting to escalate the argument any further.

Once recovered, Kyouko grunted angrily and turned away, staring at nothing in particular. A few moments of tense silence passed. Kyouko opened her mouth to speak again, but Homura spoke first. "I was trying to clear my head. I knew it was becoming tainted too quickly. I thought it would slow down if I was focused on something else." Her head was down, her eyes shielded by her bangs.

Kyouko looked at her, processing her words, unsure of what to say next. "Uhh...focus on something else? Instead of what?" Homura didn't reply. She simply raised her head to look at Kyouko, her expression as unreadable as it always was. Kyouko fidgeted under her gaze. Her anger had dissipated, so she sat down across from Homura, not meeting her gaze.

Once again the room was silent. Homura replayed what she remembered in her head, filling in the gaps with her inferences. Despite what had happened, Kyouko had risked her life to save her. She could have let her be killed and taken the Grief Seed for herself, especially since her Gem had been darkening at an almost equal rate to her own.

That was the most significant element. Both of their Gems were feeding off a sudden and unusual increase in negative emotion. Kyouko had been just as upset as she had. Homura realized then that her being affected as much as she had been was even more unusual. She and Kyouko had never been close in previous loops. The time they had been working together hardly compared to how long she had been fighting on her own. Yet their fallout had upset enough to rapidly accelerate the tainting of her Gem. Vaguely, she thought that Kyouko would have easily left her to die in another timeline.

_Things are different this time. You said so. _The words came back to her, and this time, she believed them.

Kyouko wasn't sure how much time had passed when Homura finally spoke again. "Thank you." Kyouko blinked, and looked up in surprise. Homura stared straight into her eyes as she continued. "For coming to help with the witch. I would be dead otherwise."

Kyouko felt herself becoming more and more flustered. This was the last thing she had expected. "Ah…no, no, I should be thankin' you. You took it out in the end. And you cleaned my Gem. You saved my butt twice."

"So did you. You did the same thing. So, thank you." Homura smiled. Kyouko stared, hardly able to believe what she was seeing or hearing. "Ahh, no, no, it's fine." She scratched the back of her head. "I'm just glad you're alright." She felt her cheeks heat up as she spoke.

Homura closed her eyes and breathed in. She remained like that for a few moments; Kyouko stared, confused, wondering if she should say something. Then, as if nothing had happened, Homura's face had returned to its usual expression, or lack of. Kyouko blinked a few times, wondering if she had imagined things. Something was different, though. There was something new in Homura's eyes that she hadn't seen before. Homura had already turned away, closing the drawer. "Are you still tired?"

"Huh? Ah, no, I'm fine." Kyouko shook her head. "Uh…why?" Homura didn't turn around, simply replied as she picked up a remote on the coffee table and pressed a button. Several holographic panels flashed into life, showing various detailed graphs, blurred photographs, and scans of text, among other things. Kyouko recognized them as the information Homura had gathered about Walpurgisnacht, along with tactics on how to take it down. She had seen them several times before, and still wondered where and the dark-haired girl had acquired some of it. Homura had never told her, and she wasn't going to ask again.

There were more panels than usual though, she noticed with some curiosity. Diagrams of Soul Gems and Grief Seeds; new charts and graphs, photographs of witches, and of magical girls she didn't recognize. She glanced from panel to panel, her interest piqued.

"Kyouko." Homura's voice came from right behind her, and she jumped slightly. She turned around, face to face with the shieldmaiden. Her face was its usual inexpressive mask, but it seemed harsher, as if it was strained. "Sit down."

Kyouko sat, still confused. "Homura, what's going on?" Homura sat across from her; she seemed…nervous? Frightened even? "Oi…" Kyouko trailed off, unable to find any words.

Homura swallowed. _Things are different. Tell her…_ "Kyouko… what do you think happens to Soul Gems when they become fully corrupted?

* * *

I have no excuse for how late this chapter is. I can only hope you enjoy it.

I had a hard time with this one, but I think I'm over the hump. From this point on, things will progress more seriously. There will also be more chapters that are devoted solely to developing the characters and their relationship.


End file.
